7/20/11 - 7/27/11

7/20/11

Sunflowers 10' tall & counting.

I bit my half broken pinky nail the other day, you know, to even out the jagged edge... and it chipped my front tooth.
The tooth had been repaired 17 years ago after a previous accident in the lot at a Dead show at Giants stadium when after doing a nitrous balloon, I fell face forward and hit the side mirror of a parked car... with my front tooth.

I'm all hill billy now. Kevin says it adds character. Trying to figure out whether I should get it fixed again with porcelain (or whatever they use...) or to go for something gold...

7/27/11

Reading through my past entries, which I almost never do, I noticed what a whiner I am.
Maybe not a whiner, but definitely showing a lack of confidence in my abilities to get a grip on life. Not feeling strong enough to deal with problems & accumulating a heavy load of 'what if?' stress. Fuck those times. In a moment of desperation I asked the universe for strength and it gave it to me. I feel empowered and certain of my future now, not unsure and scared. Like a complete turn around. Like sun shining through the clouds. (Is this what antidepressants do?) I feel like I've earned some more of the necessary tools to deal with what life throws at me; or more correctly,, what I bring on myself. The difficult part now it to remember them; ingrain them into my life so that I create what I want for myself by focusing on what I want and not what I don't. I think therefore I am.